"Welcome, everyone, to today’s conference hosted by Better Living Through coaching. We’re honored to have our distinguished speaker from C anada, Aziz Mone, life coach and advocate for personal and relational growth. Aziz will speak about the rising divorce rates and shed light on the modern pressures that may be making marriage harder to sustain than ever before. This isn’t just a social issue; it’s one that affects mental well-being, families, and communities globally. Let’s welcome Aziz Mone."
Aziz Mone’s Keynote:
"Welcome, everyone! I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to all 74 participants joining us from eight different countries for this online conference. Your presence today reflects our collective commitment to understanding the challenges we face in relationships, especially regarding the rising divorce rates in 2024. Together, we will explore the complexities of marriage and seek insights that can help us build stronger connections. Thank you for being here, and let’s dive into our discussion!"
1. The Troubling Statistics of Modern Marriage: "As we gather here today, let’s first consider the numbers. Divorce rates in many parts of the world, especially the West, now exceed 50%. This figure represents not only relationships ending but the shattering of dreams, families, and often, mental health. But why are so many marriages unable to survive today’s world?"
2. Marriage as a ‘Humble’ Institution: "Marriage, as it was initially conceived, was a simple institution—a way to bring people together primarily for raising children and providing social stability. This humble role has been stretched and molded over centuries to fit an evolving world, and it’s now expected to provide everything from romantic fulfillment to social status, financial stability, and personal identity."
3. The Problem of Over-Expectation: "Imagine marriage as a bridge. When you build a bridge, it’s designed to bear a certain weight. Now, imagine piling more weight onto this bridge—romance, companionship, financial security, constant support, and spiritual growth. Eventually, the bridge begins to buckle under pressure, as marriage wasn’t meant to bear the weight of so many demands. Today, love, particularly romantic love, is one of the heaviest demands we place on marriage, and when romance wanes or changes, many feel the entire foundation is at risk."
4. A Historical Perspective: "Historically, marriage didn’t have these expectations attached to it. In fact, love as a foundation for marriage is a relatively recent addition. Centuries ago, people married for family alliances, economic stability, and social obligation. Romantic love was, at most, a desirable addition, not a fundamental reason for marriage."
5. The Comparison to Work: "Let’s take a detour here and think about work. Originally, a job existed to provide a way to earn a livelihood. Today, however, we want more. We expect fulfillment, identity, meaning, and excitement from work. But the truth is, most jobs were not designed to meet these needs. Similarly, by expecting marriage to satisfy every emotional and social need, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Fulfillment might come from friends, hobbies, or passions—but pinning all these needs onto one person in a marriage can become overwhelming."
6. The Isolation of the Nuclear Family: "Another aspect to consider is the isolation of the nuclear family, which has replaced the extended family structures of past generations. When a couple in an extended family faced challenges, they had the support of others to lean on. Nowadays, couples often only have each other. This isolation puts immense pressure on partners to be everything for each other—companions, confidants, therapists, and supporters—which isn’t always realistic."
7. Vonnegut’s Insight on ‘Not Enough People’: "One of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, spoke about how most couples struggle because ‘you are not enough people’ for each other. This points to a profound truth: we cannot expect a single person to fulfill every role in our lives. Historically, people had entire communities to fulfill these roles, but in our modern world, we often place all of these expectations on our spouse, leading to feelings of discontent and inadequacy."
8. Marriage, Religion, and Social Control: "Another crucial point is marriage’s relationship with religion and social stability. While many today see marriage as a religious institution, historically, it wasn’t always that way. For example, marriage didn’t become a sacrament of the Catholic Church until the 16th century. Marriage became important to religious and social institutions because it provided a structured environment for raising children and maintaining social order."
9. Addressing the Chimera of Modern Marriage: "Today’s marriage combines elements of romance, friendship, partnership, and spirituality into what I call a ‘chimera’—a combination of many ideals that are nearly impossible to fulfill simultaneously. In our modern age, marriage is often unrecognizable from the institution it was centuries ago. Perhaps what we need is a ‘re-simplification’—a return to core principles of partnership, shared responsibility, and raising children if that is a couple’s goal."
10. Moving Forward with Open-Mindedness and Pragmatism: "What’s next? We need to redefine marriage in a way that is sustainable for our times. Perhaps marriage could benefit from a more open-minded, flexible approach, allowing people to choose the aspects that matter most to them while understanding that no single relationship can fulfill every need. If we can shift our expectations and see marriage as one part of a fulfilled life rather than the entirety of it, we may reduce the pressure that leads to so many divorces."
Q&A Session:
Host: "Thank you, Aziz, for such a thought-provoking perspective. Let’s open the floor to questions. For everyone joining us from around the world, please feel free to share your thoughts or questions in the chat.
Q: "Aziz, do you think love should play a role in marriage at all?"
Aziz: "Love absolutely has a place in marriage, but we need to understand it’s just one part of a larger
commitment. A foundation of respect, shared
values, and partnership can support love, but relying
on love alone can be risky, as feelings naturally
ebb and flow."
Q: "How do we balance modern independence with partnership in marriage?"
Aziz: "Great question. A strong marriage doesn’t mean giving up independence; it’s about supporting each other while allowing room for individual growth. When both partners see each other as allies rather than constant sources of validation, the relationship is often stronger." Q: "Do you think marriage will still be relevant in 50 years?"
Aziz: "Marriage will likely continue
to exist but in evolving
forms. As society
changes, so too will relationships, and marriage will likely adapt to fit the values
and realities of future generations."
Q:"What is the best way to handle the differences that arise between
partners after marriage?"
Aziz: "Understanding should be the foundation, and it's important to try to see things from the partner's perspective. There are healthy differences that contribute to building the relationship, but what matters is that both parties have a mutual desire to find a compromise."
Q: "How can couples maintain
passion in their
relationship despite the pressures of daily life?"
Aziz: "Passion requires time and attention. Couples should set aside special time for each other, away from work and family pressures. Simple activities like spending the weekend together or engaging in shared hobbies can reignite passion."
Q: "How can partners enhance
mutual trust in the marital
relationship?"
Aziz:"Trust is built through
honesty, transparency, and open communication. There should be ongoing dialogue
about important topics,
and each party
must demonstrate their
ability to support
the other, whether
in easy or challenging situations.In conclusion, marriage is a partnership that thrives on understanding, trust, and communication. As we
navigate the complexities of relationships, it’s essential to return to the simplicity and humility that underpin a
strong marriage. By recognizing that we cannot rely solely on our partners for
all our emotional needs, we can
foster healthier, more fulfilling connections. Thank you for joining me today,
and let’s continue to work towards building stronger relationships together."
About Aziz Mone
Aziz Mone is an international speaker and business coach, specializing in helping entrepreneurs and companies grow and succeed. With years of experience, he has mentored businesses globally, guiding them through challenges and helping them reach their goals.
Known for his inspiring talks on leadership, strategy, and success, Aziz motivates individuals to live exceptional lives and build impactful, resilient businesses.